Soul searching, worrying, thinking, calculating… that’s it… calculating.
My head is full of calculations all the time. My head is full of Ironman ALL the time. It’s becoming that subject that is always asked about but rarely understood – except of course to my IM buds Tina and Alan.
About a month ago, I was having serious doubts about this challenge I set myself all those months ago. Back then I was in the best shape I’ve been, and doing stuff I never thought was possible. Then the injuries came. They’re like this ball and chain wrapped around my ankle stopping me from going forward. No amount of physio has been able to help me which has also frustrated me.
I needed to be reminded of why I entered this this thing. I love challenging myself. I love seeing myself do things that I never thought was possible. I love going further and for longer than I have before. I think this is why I love endurance events.
My head was stuck into this “Can I do it?” “Can I go that far?” “Will my knees hold out?” The questions and the worries are endless, these are but a few.
I needed to work out a way, calculate a way, to achieve a goal. Which is to do an Ironman Triathlon.
But I was unsure if I could actually cycle without pain, and run without pain. I’d tried and failed to run 5km two weeks before this time and so I thought I’d go for a ride and follow a train line so I had an easy escape route if my knee didn’t hold up. So I went out there, on a beautiful day, riding into the Kingdom of Fife, up to Kirkaldy. Once there I decided I was OK, a few niggles but nothing major. I turned around and cycled back, following the railway back to the Forth Bridge. I was feeling good at this point. I was feeling FINE! 60kms and feeling good was a pretty awesome thing.. So I decided to go on and did a massive loop back to home. I was tiring, I was slowing, but the knee pain was manageable. This was good. 97km and I was almost home.. I decided to do a few loops of the estate just to make it 100km! Boom! What a lift! What a feeling.
So there was a confidence boost, there was some light at the end of a tunnel to say, actually you can do this thing, or at least get past half way! I needed to calculate and take a hold of the situation, I needed to plan and I needed it now.
So I did, I sat down and wrote out a plan for the months of June and July ready for race day on 4th August.
The above was the outcome.
I’m now two weeks in, with a Sprint Triathlon tomorrow. I’m feeling good still, but I do have my reservations whether that 100km ride was a fluke or if I was capable of another one. These worries are still there, but at least, now I’m committed to actually going to Bolton. I’m going to start that race. Whether I finish is another story. Either way I’ll be calculating speeds, pace, cut off times, distances, etc etc.. all the way there!